To Be or Not To Be

A dear friend of mine typed an eloquently written blog post about some recent events that have taken place regarding BYU Idaho.  I'd like to share it here on my blog because I feel the exact same way.  Enjoy!

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Modest is Hawtest

Due to the recent and most talked about dress code for BYU-Idaho my sister Brittany and I had an awesome discussion about modesty and what it really means to us. After putting into words our feelings and beliefs, I felt very strongly to share it with you - what my personal thoughts and feelings are around this topic.

First of all, the word modest... what does that even mean? Most people associated it with not showing too much skin or the way you dress, but we actually use the word modest in our daily vocabulary... "Ohhh she is just being modest. She is the best pianist I have ever heard!!" So what does modesty really define? According to Merriam-Webster, "freedom from conceit or vanity" or "placing a moderate estimate on one's abilities or worth" {I would also like you to see the link for moderate... amazing!!!}


In our culture, modesty has been solely focused on sex and sexiness. In our religion, most understand modesty to not draw sexual attention to yourself, or make men feel uncomfortable about the clothes you wear, or needing to protect yourself from predators. I strongly disagree with that view. The guilt of a woman's beauty and body should never be placed on her as a burden, nor should it make her feel less of a person because of it. God does not teach in fear, shame, or anger; therefor, we should not teach others in that manner. Plus, I feel like those tactics would force a young adult to not have a full understanding of why it is so important to be modest.


My personal take on modesty is that it is to respect yourself and God... that automatically includes your body, but not only your body. I believe that trying to out do others or being competitive for materialistic or ego gains takes you away from being modest. If you want a brand new Porche and buy one... that is awesome!!! But first think, are you buying it because it has always been a dream of yours to own, or are you trying to keep up with the Jones'? Neither one of those are wrong, I am simply giving an example of what I believe to be modest. In my book, I would sum up modesty like this - the things we do, say or dress/purchase should not be coming from a place of competition, but from a place of passion and desire - a place that we know will make us feel better or happy with no expectations or strings attached, that by doing this we can sustain humility and veer us away from our egos and vanity.


Now to tie this all into apparel; the reason I choose to be modest is because I believe it to be a physical reminder of being modest everyday in all things, so in that sense I do take modesty literally. I do my hair and make-up because it makes me feel feminine and attractive, I wear the clothes I do because I believe it is my talent and passion. I find sure joy in putting together an outfit, shopping , or working on sketches and sewing. I believe this is my calling in life! I dress and present myself the way that will make me proud, and my standards are high because I too want to respect my Heavenly Father and of course my husband. Like I said before, I believe in taking the word "modest" literally in the way I dress because I believe it to serve a purpose as a reminder of the actual word modest and what it stands for and defines.


As far as skinny jeans go, they are the only thing I own and wear. I believe that a woman needs to express herself the way she longs and desires to. It is a form of creativity and identity - what we will be known for. My heart goes out to John Dexter, the manager of the testing center at BYU-Idaho. He had good intentions, but unfortunately it came across wrong and I too will admit I had my mouthful of verbal complaints with his reasoning and purpose by making the rule. He is a man, a honest worthy man who sees women in a rare and beautiful way... that I can respect and support. I just want to make it clear that it does not represent the LDS culture nor the LDS church and that skinny jeans are not banned from BYU-I but just from the testing center, which he, John Dexter manages.


I, personally, am grateful it has received so much publicity because it has allowed me to articulate in words why I choose to be modest. What are your views and takes? Do you choose to be modest, and why?